Saturday 29 March 2008

Why I Hate Leaving The House On A Saturday

When you work six days a week, you learn to cherish the one day you can call your own. There is nowhere to be and there are no people to meet and for me, this day is Saturday. Show me a day spent watching reality TV and endless sport either side of a bowl of soup and some crusty bread and your presenting me with my ideal day off.

But, as we all know, life is never that simple and somewhere there sits a man who invented the errand. Now, for a laid back chap like myself this man is the root of all evil. He is the man who makes me get changed out of my comfortable clothes and lift myself off my perfectly indented sofa. He is the man who insists I spend the day venturing out into the freezing wastes to confront life's busy bodies and get things done, and frankly I'm sick of it.

I recently needed to purchase some light bulbs for my car. So I managed to drag myself out of the house and headed to a small local shop. I knew that this little haven could supply my demand with little fuss and I'd be back to my paradise in no time. Imagine my horror then as I walk through the shop door to find a queue, of what must have consisted of the entire Ferrari pit stop crew, with only one man serving behind the till. My plans had hit some turbulence, and I was unsure where to turn to. The sheer volume of bodies in the shop had thrown me. In a state of confusion my subconscious kicked in and I suddenly found myself in the car park of a well known "errand runner" hot spot, Tesco. I wasn't even sure that this food based store would be able to cater to my automotive needs but I decided to give it a try anyway. I parked my car and embarked on the 10 minute hike back to the shop.

"This place is going to be busy," I sighed. Now, I am normally an easy going guy, but dealing with the "to do list" generation on my day off never fails to send me over the edge. These people are an unknown species. They don't walk quickly and they don't walk slowly, they just meander their way through life like they aren't wasting anybodies time. Then there are the shopping trolley users. They have an adorable knack of getting in your way from further afield than the normal errand runner all because they have a metal storage device, that they cant control, attached to their hands. These kinds of people and this pointless raising of my blood pressure are the exact reasons why I never leave the house on a Saturday.

Suffice to say I was out of there and back in my car in a relatively short space of time. I counted to ten, cleared my head and let reason took over. I went to Halfords, bought the necessaries and returned home a little wound up but happy to have got through the ordeal without leaving shopping trolley marks all over somebodies face.

All that was left was to fit the damn things and then realign myself with the perfectly indented sofa.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Like the blog. A smart start. Smooth and witty style indicates natural competence.

Anonymous said...

Interesting... although I too would like to hear more f the elusive Alex and Joe!

 
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